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Pop culture revolves around a good love story. Whether you are watching The Bachelor on ABC or reading a romance novel, it’s easy to get caught up in other people’s love lives. The wedding industry earns millions of dollars every year and public proposals are the now the norm.
You may have been able to get away with a simple dinner date proposal before, but now you have to come up with an elaborate plan and be prepared to showcase the result on social media. You could take big trip and design a custom engagement ring in Brisbane, New York, Tokyo, or wherever your heart desires. Love feels extravagant to the point where the simple ways to show love and affection are easily overlooked.
Picking up a coffee for someone or even planning a simple picnic can be seen as small and insignificant when it really is a loving gesture. Big gestures are wonderful, but they aren’t the only way to show your commitment and care for someone. Often, when we learn to slow down and appreciate what we have in front of us, we realize true “relationship goals” are beyond a hashtag you post on Instagram.
The Impact of Social Media
As with anything else in the world today, social media and technology complicate relationships and romance. Everything in your life, including your significant other, becomes public. If you have a crush on someone, you always have access to them online. This can cause some serious overthinking. Did they post a picture with someone else? Why haven’t they liked my latest picture? Am I being cute and clever enough online? Social media and cell phones make it easier to be coy and confused. Flirting has evolved considerably. Back in the day, you actually had to call someone on their home phone to plan a date or, gasp, actually come to their door to ask them out. Now, the word, “Hey,” can have about a million different meanings and it’s up to you to figure them all out.
Social media not only impacts flirting, but it plays a defining role in relationships as well. Comparing your relationship with what you find on social media can break your relationship. If you see a photo couple who are perfectly happy and in love, you may be confused why you and your significant other aren’t like that. It becomes a slippery slope.
The truth is that everyone shows themselves in the best light on social media. Just because Robby and Jenny may look happy all the time doesn’t mean are they don’t bicker and disagree just like you do. To truly be content and have a healthy relationship, take time to appreciate the person you are with rather than comparing your experience to someone else’s love story. Yours is just as beautiful; don’t ever doubt it.
Love Languages
The key to a healthy relationship is to truly understand what your partner needs from you. One way to assess this is to determine which of the five love languages they most respond to. Words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts are the five primary ways to show a loved one you care about them.
The goal of a relationship is to give what the other person needs. For example, if someone’s primary love language is words of affirmation, giving them a hug after a long day may not perk them up as much as a simple, “I believe in you,” will. Someone else may need quality time with you. You can plan a date and take a tour through Central Park. Sometimes relationships take work, but figuring out how to compromise and show compassion to each other should be a big goal.
Romance Isn’t Dead
Remember, friends, romance isn’t dead. While some of the crazy relationship gestures like filling a room with roses or hiring a skywriter to profess your love are a little over-the-top, small romantic gestures never go amiss. Maybe consider getting a dozen roses on a random Tuesday or book some surprise trip out to the country. You don’t have to be Romeo calling to the balcony to be romantic. Often, simply planning something together where you can cherish your time is the best kind of relationship goal.
