by Cheryl Hearts
#1 Love + Trust + Honesty = Long-lasting Relationships
Your relationship should be based on mutual respect and love, not silly conviction, fear or jealousy. Honesty is a key component of a healthy and long-lasting relationship, not only because it helps us avoid harmful breaches of trust, but because it allows us to live in reality as opposed to fantasy and to share this reality with someone else. Remember the idea that if you want other people to be honest with you, then be honest with them in the same way. You get what you give, so if you are completely open with your partner, he or she will open up to you.
#2 No Matter How Mad You Are at Each Other, Avoid Stonewalling
Yelling and arguments are unavoidable in any relationship, as we all have our own demons inside: different outlooks, preconceptions and mindsets. However to lose the tension between your partner you can use some of these tips:
Soft Voice Conversations
It helps to reflect the love, compassion and understanding that is missing from yelling. Meet your partner’s eyes and speak from a place of love and understanding. Disagreements don’t require anger and yelling to resolve them)
Sit Down and Negotiate
There is a between sitting down and working through a problem as a team versus shouting. Do not isolate one another by having toxic arguments, instead eliminate them by finding out turning points and disagreements, implementing healthy conflict resolution techniques, and strengthening the heart-warming connection with your significant other)
#3 Keep the Flirting Alive
Many couples forget about such a thing after marriage or babies. The romantic atmosphere wears off very fast and with the blink of an eye you realize that you are stuck somewhere in a boring routine with your partner. Flirt with each other as much as you can. Keeping the spark alive in a relationship can be problematic, especially if you've been together a long time. At the very beginning of relationship everything you do together feels playful and mysterious as you're getting to know each other. However, as time passes you all tend to forget about such a phenomenon like presenting a bouquet with no purpose, having a night stroll to a park or going to a party together. And after a while it seems weird to take this flirting period back, as you are no longer at the stage of dating. It can feel artificial or forced to suddenly start flirting again — especially if you haven't done it for a while. But keep it alive all the time!
#4 Remember That You Are Two Separate Individuals
Of course, as a couple you are an item with your soulmate and sometimes we tend to take it too seriously. Do not forget that we are all separate individuals, we are all free to choose and express ourselves in the way feel like it and nobody can change us. You and your partner cannot act similarly in all parts of life. Don’t set the boundaries between him and his family, friends and social life, as he is free to flirt, chat and like other people. You don’t like when someone controls you or limits in your actions, right? Then, establish a freedom in your relationship and respect the independence of one another.
#5 Do Something New Together
It may sound a bit trivial but this is the way it is. Try a new hobby or entertaining activity together, especially something you are not very good at. And bring out something new from each activity you start working on. Whether it's rollerblading, a language class, cooking a complicated meal, it'll provide you with a chance to laugh together as you fumble through it. Be open-minded to take risks and challenge yourself by discovering something you have not imagined as a couple and watch your relationship flourishing around.
#6 Try Something New Sexually
Being in a relationship on a long basis, we fall into routines with sex quite easily. Couples that now their partners inside out are not amazed by their behavior anymore that does not bring any novelty in a sex life. Everything becomes so predictable, so that you feel worn out of it. And this is exactly the time when you have to pull yourself together and take major action before it’s too late. Create a flirty atmosphere by talking about all your intimate fantasies and why you want to try it.
#7 Share Your Love with Every Fiber of Your Being
Kill that noise and say how eagerly you love him or her. Tell them why they're great, what do you feel when you look at him or her. Be honest, if you talk about your feelings, just because you need to another person will notice that. And more important do it often, because regularity here is the most significant thing. These deep and open conversations are necessary to understand links that hold you together and creates a sort of intimacy between you two. Try to form interactions on topics that bother you the most. Our life is a series of ups and downs, so do not hesitate to discuss all the feelings and thoughts that have been sprinkled throughout a day, week or month. Just focus on connecting with your partner — because that's exactly what it's all about.
#8 Be Open to Feedback
Another tip we would like to present you – never forget to listen to your partner and see things from his or her point of view. What are they trying to tell us about how they are experiencing us and feeling toward us? Think all his or her offers and suggestions through with no criticism or preliminary judgement. Be responsive to give a feedback and respect his or her efforts to engage in relationship. Isn’t it awesome to see how you both go the extra mile to develop your relations or bring it to the next stage? Having a partner who feels comfortable to open up to us is the best case scenario for having an honest and long-term relationship, in which we can both mature and improve ourselves.
#9 Relationships Are Almost Never 50/50
Accept that there are going to be moments when you'll have to carry your partner for a bit, and there will be times when they will stand for you. Accept that sometimes you’re going to carry 70% of the burden, whether it’s household duties, taking care of kids or pets, or just being a breadwinner and sometimes when you need it, your partner will rely each duty or problem oh his strong shoulders.
#10 Choose to Love, Choose to Commit
Love is about making choices. And there is just one you can make – either to give up or take actions. Choose to love your loved one every day, even when he or she makes it hard, choose them every day, because one day they also chose you. It means you are not just another passerby for them. If you stop choosing them, then there is no perspective for long-lasting connection.
Author’s Bio: Cheryl Hearts is a talented journalist from Boston, Massachusetts. From an early age, she was into writing so she decided to make it her career. Obtaining a Master’s Degree in Journalism has boosted her desire to grow as a journalist and currently she contributors to major media publications. Cheryl also runs her blog CherylHearts.com where she shares her opinion on topics trending in modern society.