By Brian McKay

Conspiracy theories and green washing are employed by those that can’t make sense of an increasingly complex world. Climate change (actually global warming) is very complex and threatens the world we leave our children. The passion to drive change should be fueled by the fact that our kids can’t eat money, 65% of the world’s population is best off not having to be resettled and wars over water just aren’t any fun.

Climate deniers may seem simply ignorant but belief in a wild and grand conspiracy is really what drives all climate denial. Here are the reasons why:

All scientists are selling their souls and scientific integrity for massive funding. They are living extremely well because the government wants them to produce the results it needs. - Really? It is far more lucrative to go into the private sector. The petroleum industry will gladly pay a lot more to get the results it needs to justify its existence. If the goal is financial incentive, stop looking for grants and go hit up BP (they also still need marine biologists to toe the line as well).

As a result of this massive collusion, the entire peer review process is not valid. - One way to counter 10,000+ peer reviewed articles published in respected journals is to claim they are all wrong and the 5 or so on your side are right. Science is self-correcting. If I make a mistake in my calculations the peer review process by my peers is designed to find it. Hmm… these thousands of scientists from across the world must be in total agreement and ready to destroy the whole process of science that was developed over the last two centuries. Damn you greedy scientists!

They are hiding the fact that the world is in a cooling period. - The 10 warmest years on record have happened since 1998 as temperatures are measured across the globe. Here, even some knowledge of statistics would be better than none, as climate deniers seem to have skipped that class in college. 10 years out of 17 isn’t a statistical anomaly. That’s impossible. It’s a really ominous fucking trend line.

Prominent scientists have exposed this massive fraud. – Yes, the claim is that a few prominent scientists have called this a massive fraud. A recent review was done of a letter sent to U.S. Representative Lamar Smith, a total climate denier, that was signed by 300 of these so called experts. Yep, metallurgists, veterinarians, scientists in the petroleum industry and shills for the super conservative Heartland Institute certainly sound like non-biased and relevant experts, don’t they? Maybe all it takes is a list of people with Ph.D.s after their name and Heartland will add you to their list.

All of this funding by President Obama is used to create a situation where he can impose socialism on us. – Yeah this one is the kicker and where the conspiracy theory comes in. It is the only way this massive amount of funding and scientific fraud can be explained by climate deniers, whether they acknowledge it or not.  Some will even go so far as to claim it is a globalist conspiracy to enact a One World government. Yep, all this just to force us into communal living, redistribute wealth and have the U.N. rule the world. Wow. The little black helicopters are surely being fueled up as we speak.

So what is the worst part of this whole thing? We honestly have a political party that buys this shit. A whole fucking major party. These guys actually serve in Congress! Our elementary school children have more damn common sense than some of our elected representative will ever have.

So the next time crazy uncle goes off on this shit, or your wacked conservative friend posts a ridiculous meme about exploding polar bear populations on Facebook, know that they are just another conspiracy theorist. It is their way to explain a complex world they clearly can’t understand or simply don’t want to.

Additionally, why wouldn't we want to reduce Pollution? This is part of the theme in the zenruptive novel, History, Yoghurt and the Moon.

Brian is a co-founder of zenruption. He wants to leave a better world for his daughter. Often he can be seen frolicking in his natural habitat and taunting his extreme right wing Facebook friends.  Yes, Brian likes to stir the pot a bit.